It's Hard To Let Go
by In A Rush
Summary: When her world begins to crumble down around her, who will be the one who picks up the pieces and be by her side through it all when Stella struggles with a loss


**Just a little something that popped into my head but I couldn't work out which character I wanted it to happen to but I finally figured it out. **

**I unfortunately don't own Rush, if I did well it would be on for longer than just the 22 episodes we got this year.**

….

Pulling up to base after a long 48 hour shift, both teams unpack the cars quickly wanting to just get home and catch up on their lack of sleep.

"Hey Stella, can I talk to you?" Kerry asks walking up to the group who were looking tired and unpacking in silence.

Seeing the look on Kerry's face, Stella asks "Is it serious?"

"Yeah it is unfortunately." Kerry says.

"You look like someone has died." Stella says jokingly trying not to stress out over the unknown situation.

"We better head into my office." Kerry says turning away.

Looking at Shannon for some reassurance, Shannon shrugs her shoulders at her girlfriend but gives her an encouraging nod to follow Kerry. Letting out a sigh, Stella follows Kerry trying to think what it could be about.

….

Closing the door behind Stella, Kerry says "You should take a seat for this."

"What's going on Kerry?" Stella asks.

"Just take a seat please." Kerry says indicating to the chair and pulling her desk chair in front of Stella's.

"Your parents tried calling your mobile today but it went straight to voicemail." Kerry says.

"Yeah, coz of the unexpected double shift my phone died a couple of hours ago, why were my parents trying to get a hold of me?" Stella asks.

"Your brother Tony was in an accident today." Kerry says.

"Okay, what kind of accident?" Stella asks.

"Well Tony was doing some undercover work today, some surveillance work on a witness protection client, they thought their position was compromised, that their location had been found out by this group of drug dealers who were due in court in a weeks' time." Kerry says struggling to tell Stella the bad news.

"Okay, so what happened, where is he?" Stella asks slightly concerned for her brother's welfare.

"I'm so sorry Stella, the witness's house was under fire today, Tony ran in to try and save the witness, the witness made it but unfortunately Tony didn't." Kerry says sadly.

"What do you mean Tony didn't make it, what the hell does that mean?" Stella asks feeling confused.

"Tony suffered multiple gunshot wounds, it was unforseen that this would happen so he didn't have any protective gear, they did all they could to save him but unfortunately he was too far gone." Kerry says taking in Stella's appearance.

Feeling numb and trying to process what had been said, Stella just nods her head and says "Thanks for letting me know."

Getting up out of the chair and her body switching to auto pilot, she just opens the door and walks to the locker room without even noticing where her feet were taking her as her mind went over and over again trying to process what Kerry had said and trying to make sense of it all.

Walking in and going to her locker she doesn't notice the whole team, including Leon and Audrey sitting there waiting for her to try and find out what had happened and she couldn't register what was being said.

Confused on what to do as she didn't know what had happened and the fact Stella wasn't responding to their questions, Shannon got up to go and find Kerry to ask what was discussed with her girlfriend to have put her in this state, only to find Kerry standing in the doorway looking sad and concerned.

"What happened Kerry?" Shannon asks standing near Stella.

"Tony was in an accident today and he passed away." Kerry says.

Turning to face Stella, she sees the walls to Stella's exterior begin to crumble down around her and moves closer to her girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry Stella." Audrey says and the team just sit there to stunned to say anything.

Hearing the words come out of Audrey's mouth sets everything in motion and Stella feels her world crashing down.

"NO, HE DIDN'T DIE, HE CANT DO THAT TO US, HIS FAMILY THAT BASTARD, HOW COULD HE JUST GIVE UP." Stella yells as Shannon wraps her arms around her.

"NO."Stella starts to yell and cry, beating her arms against Shannon repeatedly while Shannon maintained a firm grip on Stella's hips in order to let her grieve and let it all out

Seeing the team looking dumbfounded, Shannon yells "How about you all just leave her to grieve in private rather than staring at her like this is some kind of show, just leave."

As everyone gets up and does as Shannon says, Josh walks up to Shannon who is still copping a beating from Stella and places a hand on Shannon's back while asking "Will you be right with this?"

"I have to be." Shannon says quietly.

"Give us a call if you or Stell need anything, no matter what the time is." Josh says and Shannon gives him a slight nod.

After wearing herself out, Stella's legs give out from under her and Shannon leads her to the lockers and slides down to the floor with her and holds her tightly while Stella rests her head onto Shannon's shoulder and keeps on crying.

…

After having been awake all night as it took a while to get Stella to fall asleep after comforting her some more followed by Stella's constant tossing and turning all night with the occasional sobbing in her sleep, Shannon got out of the bed as Stella seemed to have finally settled, and went to have a shower.

Getting out of the shower, Shannon feeling a little bit on the sore and on the stiff side, walked quietly out of the bathroom of Stella's place to look in the full length mirror to see a couple of bruises forming on her legs from where she got kicked during the night from Stella and she saw the dark purple bruises forming along her chest, shoulders and arms from Stella's beating back at base as well as when Stella was asleep.

Not realising Stella was awake; Shannon bends down to pick up her clothes before she felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her waist.

Standing up with her back to Stella, Shannon sighs knowing Stella will try and beat herself up for the bruises she had left Shannon with so she tries to just stand there and let Stella enjoy the moment.

Having already seen the light bruises that had covered parts of Shannon's legs, Stella holds her breath and slowly turns Shannon around before letting out a gasp.

"Holy Shit Shannon, I am so, so sorry, why didn't you stop me?" Stella asks feeling guilty for the pain she has now inflicted onto her girlfriend.

"Its fine Stella, you would do the same for me if I was in your situation." Shannon says pulling her top over her head, thankful it was winter so she could wear clothes to cover it up, as she wanted it to be out of sight, out of mind as Stella didn't need the extra stress at the moment.

"Shannon, you're a dark purple, that's not fine." Stella says sounding concerned and angry with her.

"Hey, you listen to me, do not blame yourself, it's fine and I am fine, it's about time I got some colour in my skin, I'm too pale anyway." Shannon says trying to lighten the mood while stifling a yawn.

"You can't tell me you're not sore." Stella says crossing her arms as Shannon runs her brush through her hair.

"It's a little bit on the tender side, but I have had worse, like when I went over the bike when we were trying to do a bust on Kronin." Shannon says before brushing her teeth and knowing Stella can't argue with her on that.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" Stella asks taking in her appearance.

"Stop worrying about me Stel, I am fine, how about we have some coffee before we head over to your parents, they my mobile this morning while you were sleeping, I said we would get there by 10, so we have an hour and a half for you to get ready and maybe have something to eat for breakfast." Shannon says.

"Why did you brush your teeth then if we are having breakfast?" Stella asks.

"Because you will eat breakfast, I won't because there is going to be heaps of food at your parents with people trying to help out, meaning I will be eating most of the day there so I need some room to eat all that food." Shannon says leading Stella to the kitchen.

"You can stay here and catch up on sleep, my parent won't mind if you do that, you look like shit, they will begin to worry." Stella says.

"Its fine Stella, I will pile on the make up so they can't tell, I'm going to be there for you whether you like it or not, you need me, I can hold off with the sleep for at least another 12 or so hours, it's not like we aren't used to being sleep deprived." Shannon says placing a cup of coffee in front of Stella along with a couple of slices of toast with nutella before pulling up a seat next to her.

"Thanks for being here with me." Stella says giving Shannon a gentle kiss.

"Where else would I be?" Shannon asks giving her a kiss back before placing her hand just above Stella's knee and watching her eat.


End file.
